As a caregiver you can be soft and cuddly or a bit more strict and firm. If you are new to having a little or adult baby, this is a good place to start. If you are a little and want someone to be your caretaker you can also follow these steps. A caregiver role involves a combination of care and taking control, I’ll call these “soft affection” and “firm affection”. After all, giving discipline to your little may be an important part of your little’s journey. Striking the balance between care and control is important.
Step 1: Discuss your needs and limits
Before you begin, you should both write down a few sentences about what you want to gain, as well as your limits. Share your writings with each other, and see what you have in common. Maybe your little wants a strict caregiver, and you aren’t sure if you want to be strict. Knowing this, you can decide how you can try our a new role. Discuss if you want your ABDL relationship to be 24/7 or only sometimes. Ask your little – what age do they regress to when they enter little space? How do they want to be treated when they are in that mental state? Most importantly, talk about your limits. Everyone has a different limit, which may shift over time. It’s okay if your limits are not the same, as long as you respect those boundaries.
Step 2: Explore soft affection
Ask your little about what gives them comfort. Are there comfort items – like a stuffed toy that they need to have near them? What are the things that help your little get into little-space? When are the times that they most need a comforting hug or a pacifier? How often do they want to be in little space with you? It may sound technical, but knowing how many times per week, or which days (for instance weekends) they want to feel little, can help you have the best experience. What are the types of physical affection your little likes most? How can you reward your little for good behaviors?
Step 3: Explore firm affection
Firm affection has to do with establishing rules, schedules, and discipline. As a caretaker this might mean setting a bed time, setting rules to get your little to eat vegetables, or giving them punishment for a bad habit. Are there any punishments that are a hard limit for your little? Decide together which habits you want your little to build, and decide if using rewards, punishments or both will work best. Decide together if you want to have a schedule that you follow. It may even help to write it out on a calendar. Similarly, if there are rules you want your little to follow, you can write them down on a piece of paper so your little can look back to them and pay attention.
Remember, all of these things may change as you explore your relationship and that’s okay! The important thing is to always return to your discussion and make sure that you are both in agreement.
October is my favorite month of the year! I l love Halloween and all the nostalgia that come with it, carving pumpkins, watching Halloween movies, eating candy corn! It’s also a great time for transformation when you dress up as whatever you want to be, whether it’s something scary or silly. I’ve found that dressing up for Halloween can be a time for people to experiment with their identity, including experimenting with diapers.
There’s finally an excuse to dress a little edgier or dye your hair purple. For some more reserved people, it’s the one time of year when they can be a little weird an no one will notice. It’s also the only time of year when people wear black lipstick without coming across as goth. So October is a magical time – the leaves change, the temperature changes, people change. Enjoy October with the goal of going deeper into your ABDL identity, letting that transformation happen. Let yourself lose control of your bladder and become diaper dependent. It’ll ensure that you are extra warm in the winter when you’re in a diaper.
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A common problem in the ABDL lifestyle is binging and purging. You go from jumping into the ABDL life to wanting to leave it. Plunging into something new, even if it’s something you like can be a shock. Diapers and baby items can bring out feelings of shame and anxiety because the ABDL life is still seen as fringe. However, that doesn’t mean this lifestyle can’t give you comfort and joy. I sometimes see advice for adult babies and littles claim drop everything and commit to this lifestyle. As a mommy, don’t support that. Nurture the changes that you see in yourself but don’t force them!
Take Baby Steps
(Pun intended). If you’re just starting out in the lifestyle, start small. Get a comfort object- a pacifier or blankie, and start using it. Try things out one step at a time and see how it affects you. Remember there’s no rush to plunge into being an adult baby full time. If you take on too many habits too fast, you might start pushing it away. Too much change happening fast can exhaust anyone. The shock of plunging yourself into an ABDL lifestyle will not be in your favor, trust me. For instance, before deciding to become diaper dependent, try to wear diapers for one day during the week and work up to it slowly. Let your mind adjust and accept the things you are doing. If it feels like too much, take a break.
Box Your Baby Things, Don’t Throw Them Out
The ABDL lifestyle comes in varying degrees. Some people live in diapers 24/7 and others only drop into little-space sometimes. There can be times when you have dry spells when you just aren’t feeling into it. This is perfectly normal – humans are never in a constant mental state. These dry spells are the times that babies and littles want to “purge” their habits by throwing away their diapers, toys and comfort items. During these times, instead of throwing them out, put them in a box for later. Remember: even though you aren’t feeling drawn to these items now, you may want them later. Put the box away and if you still don’t want these things in 6 months, then throw them out. Break from the cycle of bingeing and purging.
Remember Why You’re ABDL
If you find yourself getting into bouts of shame or uncertainty, remind yourself of all the things you enjoy in the ABDL lifestyle. There may be times when you feel shame or even rejection of the things you like, but remember you aren’t hurting anyone by liking what you like. Everyone has things that bring them comfort, and this is yours. It may help to keep a journal for yourself. When you have a nice experience getting into little space or regressing, write about it. Describe the positive feelings you have for your ABDL activities, and later on when you’re feeling uncertainty, you can read through your thoughts. You’ll remember all the good things that come with being in the ABDL lifestyle.
Remember, everyone is on their own path and everyone has a right to enjoy it. Enjoy your ABDL self!
Nurture your little side this holiday season! All of these ideas can be done with a care giver, alone or even discretely with family and friends who don’t know about your ABDL side.
1. Make a DIY Snow globe
Almost everyone has some craft that can be a stress reliever. Watching the snow swirling around in your own snow globe is pretty magical. And it’s easy because all you need is an empty glass jar and a few craft supplies! Instructions for the one above are found here.
2. Make milk and cookies.
The holidays are a perfect time to try out new (or old) cookie recipes. You can try a simple gingerbread recipe, and have fun decorating your gingerbread people. Or go the easy route and buy some pre-made cookie dough. And of course- your cookies with a warm bottle or cup of milk.
3. Watch holiday cartoons!
Another path into nostalgia is watching your holiday favorites.Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman are timeless, and there are plenty more holiday cartoons on Youtube and Kiss Cartoon. Curl up with a warm blanket and enjoy the fuzzy feelings because after all, some of these classics are just great movies.
4. Color in a holiday coloring book!
Coloring is a fun way to get into little space, and furthermore they’ve been shown to reduce stress in adults. Don’t worry about coloring inside the lines! Turn on some holiday music and spend time coloring. You can buy the one pictured above here (and support independent artists as you color).
5. Finally, get yourself a special gift.
The holidays aren’t just for getting gifts for friends and family. You should celebrate by getting a gift for yourself too. Indulge in your ABDL desires and get yourself a new blankie, a stuffie or something that brings you into little space.
The holidays can be a stressful time, but you can always find small ways to get into little space and let yourself regress. Get the cookies and crayons and have a lovely holiday season!