As a caregiver you can be soft and cuddly or a bit more strict and firm. If you are new to having a little or adult baby, this is a good place to start. If you are a little and want someone to be your caretaker you can also follow these steps. A caregiver role involves a combination of care and taking control, I’ll call these “soft affection” and “firm affection”. After all, giving discipline to your little may be an important part of your little’s journey. Striking the balance between care and control is important.
Step 1: Discuss your needs and limits
Before you begin, you should both write down a few sentences about what you want to gain, as well as your limits. Share your writings with each other, and see what you have in common. Maybe your little wants a strict caregiver, and you aren’t sure if you want to be strict. Knowing this, you can decide how you can try our a new role. Discuss if you want your ABDL relationship to be 24/7 or only sometimes. Ask your little – what age do they regress to when they enter little space? How do they want to be treated when they are in that mental state? Most importantly, talk about your limits. Everyone has a different limit, which may shift over time. It’s okay if your limits are not the same, as long as you respect those boundaries.
Step 2: Explore soft affection
Ask your little about what gives them comfort. Are there comfort items – like a stuffed toy that they need to have near them? What are the things that help your little get into little-space? When are the times that they most need a comforting hug or a pacifier? How often do they want to be in little space with you? It may sound technical, but knowing how many times per week, or which days (for instance weekends) they want to feel little, can help you have the best experience. What are the types of physical affection your little likes most? How can you reward your little for good behaviors?
Step 3: Explore firm affection
Firm affection has to do with establishing rules, schedules, and discipline. As a caretaker this might mean setting a bed time, setting rules to get your little to eat vegetables, or giving them punishment for a bad habit. Are there any punishments that are a hard limit for your little? Decide together which habits you want your little to build, and decide if using rewards, punishments or both will work best. Decide together if you want to have a schedule that you follow. It may even help to write it out on a calendar. Similarly, if there are rules you want your little to follow, you can write them down on a piece of paper so your little can look back to them and pay attention.
Remember, all of these things may change as you explore your relationship and that’s okay! The important thing is to always return to your discussion and make sure that you are both in agreement.